The Trouble with Griks
by Bladefanatic
Summary: Lorne/Carter- A new member of Atlantis has arrived.


A/N: This was written for the LJ community Sg_rarepairings. The prompt was, Lorne/Carter- humor, puppies, and exasperation.

* * *

Evan Lorne glanced at the Colonel and then hurried to look away before he started laughing. Looking at his men, they too were keeping their eyes well away from their commanding officer, and her burden.

"Tyler, dial up the gate." Lorne said, and then finally turned toward Sam. "Ma'am do you want me to send a message to the infirmary about the newest member of Atlantis?" He couldn't help showing a hint of a smile.

"Yes, it will need to be checked out." Samantha Carter said, not sharing in his amusement. "Inform Doctor Keller that we will need it to be in quarantine so we can make sure it doesn't have any diseases that could be harmful to Atlantis."

_It_was a small creature that Carter had been forced to take by the Ettok Chieftain. It had been a gift of "bindement" between the two peoples, or so the Chieftain had said. The animal had been brought forth and been offered up as if it was a grand prize. Sam's polite refusal had died on her lips when the Chiften had made it very clear that their alliance would be at an end if she had not taken the gift. So the Grik, as the people called the animal, was accepted and the alliance was formed.

"It sure is an ugly thing, Colonel." Tyler said as he began the dialing process.

"Yes it is Lieutenant." Sam agreed, looking down at the Grik. It was currently bundled up in the space blanket from her pack and asleep in her arms. The animal had patches of hair around its body, four legs and a tail. The face was reptilian-like with beady black eyes and no ears that could be seen. It had taken all of Sam's courage to accept the hissing Grik from the outstretched arms of one of the Chieftain's servants. So far it hadn't bitten her, but it showed its sharp teeth every time it woke up, as if to say that it still could.

With a whoosh, the gate activated. Making all the necessary calls, the team stepped through the event horizon.

Several miles from the gate, the Ettok Chieftain's family were gathered around him, while he held an old Genii radio. It cackled to life as a voice spoke. "The Atlantians just went through the ring of the ancestors. The Grik was with them."

A cry of delight went up from the family. Laughter and hugs went all around as finally the menace was gone.

* * *

"It won't stop crying!"

"I know!" Sam raised her voice so that Keller could hear her. "That's why I had to carry it all the way back to the gate!"

The two women were covering their ears as a high pitched wail went out from the caged Grik. The sound echoed through the infirmary, and could be heard from the hallway.

"So it would do this every time you would try and put it down?" Keller asked, gladly accepting one of the ear protectors an orderly had just returned from the firing range with.

Putting on her own ear protection, Sam nodded her head.

A nurse handed Keller a print out. Sam watched as Keller's face became white.

"What is it?"

"The Grik doesn't have any disease that we can see, but there is something..."

"What?" Sam asked, knowing that Keller was about to announce something horrible.

"We think the Grik is a she, and we think she is pregnant."

* * *

"The Ettoks refuse to take back the Grik." Lorne had just returned from the planet. He eyed Sam wearily. The colonel had finally given into defeat and had been carrying around the Grik with her wherever she went. Lorne knew that his news was not welcome.

"Refused? I thought they would welcome babies from their beloved Grik?"

"Well, Ma'am, I don't think the Grik was as prized as they led us to believe. In fact I think..."

"We've been duped." Sam sighed as she tried to shift to a more comfortable position without waking the animal on her lap. "Are they slowly getting rid of all these animals on their planet?"

"Actually, I was told that they were gifted two Griks from another planet. The male died."

"So the animals came from that other planet?"

"No. When the Ettoks tried to give back the two Griks, that planet refused and said that it wasn't even the animal's native planet."

"In other words" Sam rubbed her eyes. "This Grik is like the Christmas fruit-cake that everyone passes around because they don't want it."

"Yes, Ma'am."

At that moment, the Grik decided that it wanted to wake up. Looking up at Sam, it bared its teeth.

"Alright!" Sam glared back at the animal and came to her feet. "You don't want to sit anymore, I got it!" The second she started walking, the Grik let out a purr of contentment and settled back down.

"I have Zelenka going through the database trying to find where the home planet is for the animal." Lorne said.

"Good. I think, since I have to walk anyway, I'll go take a look at his progress." Lorne stood aside, to let Sam leave the office first. "Wait, why didn't the Grik hiss at you?"

"Ma'am?"

"When I walked past you, the Grik didn't hiss at you. It hisses at everyone. I haven't been able to have anyone else hold it, as it hisses and starts trying to claw anyone but me." Moving closer to Lorne, Sam kept her eyes on the Grik. The animal didn't even move. "Hold out your arms, Major."

That was the last thing Lorne wanted to do, but he wasn't going to tell that to his commanding officer. Bracing himself, he held out his arms for the Grik. They both held their breaths while the transfer happened. The animal didn't even bat an eye.

Smiling, Sam patted Lorne on the back. "I guess I found a babysitter for my Grik."

* * *

"Zelenka, _please_say you've found something!" It had been a horrible two days. Lorne and Sam had passed the Grik back and forth between each other, and managed to get absolutely no work done. Although, if Lorne was honest with himself, he would have to admit that it had been enjoyable to hang out with Colonel Carter. This situation showed a different side of her. She was funny, especially when sleep deprived. It had been nice to let their guard down just a little and be a man and a woman in a difficult situation trying to help one another out. "I just had to take it to the infirmary and listen to it wail while Keller checked it out, and the Doc says that the babies are going to come at any time."

"And we definitely want to have a planet to take them to." Sam said, walking in after Lorne. "I don't think Major Lorne and I have enough arms for a litter of little Griks plus the mother." Evan and Sam shared a pained look at that idea.

"Yes, yes. That is why I asked you to come. I've found the planet!" Zelenka said.

"You have?" Sam asked, moving closer to the computer with a smile on her face.

"Yes. It is a planet uninhabitable by humans. The UV is extremely high. It took longer than I expected to find it, as the database does not call the animal a Grik." Zelenka said, punching in a few more letters on the keyboard.

"Good job, Doctor Zelenka." Sam said. "Lets get the address and give the planet back one of its natives."

Just then the Grik bit Lorne. Swearing, Lorne dropped the animal who scuttled to a corner in the room.

"What was that?" Lorne wrapped a tissue from the desk around his bleeding finger as everyone in the room moved toward the Grik.

"We better call Keller." Sam said crouching down to where the Grik was hissing. "I think we are about to see the babies. We're going to need a containment team here."

* * *

"Well, they know they're home." Lorne said as he and Sam, with the rest of his team stepped through the Stargate. "They all quieted down the second we came out of the wormhole."

"Okay, lets find what looks like a safe place to leave them." Sam said moving away toward the trees. Both she and Lorne carried two cages each. One held the mother Grik, while the other three held two babies each.

"Ma'am, look!" Lieutenant Tyler pointed down at the cages she was holding.

"Holy Hannah!" Sam set down her cages and sprung the latch. Out came the mother Grik and two of the babies. "They're...puppies!"

Out of Sam and Lorne's cages stepped, not the nasty reptilian-like creatures that they had come to loath, but seven of the most fluffy, cuddly looking animals that they had ever seen. If they had been on Earth, people would be paying thousands of dollars to breed them. Gone was the straggly hair and sharp teeth. In their place were soft puppy-dog eyes and cute button noses.

"Watch it, Colonel." Lorne cautioned as the mother Grik make its way towards her. The animal's tongue lolled out and as it looked up at Sam its tail began to wag back and forth. Shrugging her shoulders, Sam leaned down and patted the "dog" on its head. Giving her hand a lick the Grik moved to Lorne repeating the process.

"I guess it's saying thank you." Lorne said, accepting his lick on the hand. After the Grik was done, it let out one high pitched wail (the whole team winced) and then headed for the trees with her puppies following.

"The high UV rays must cause all of this." Sam said as she watched the family leave. "You know, they really are cute little things."

Lorne stared at her.

"What? All I am saying is that they are cute little puppies now."

"You can't have one!" Lorne said, turning to go back and dial the gate.


End file.
